Sunday 28 January – New York

Felt as good as one could hope to feel after a 4am finish last night. Unfortunately the same couldn’t be said for Libe, although she came good within a couple of hours. When we finally got our A into G (arse into gear), we met up with Kristian and Luke and headed down to Central Park. Sightseeing was not the primary objective as one might believe; our priority was to find a bit of lawn and a bit of space to have a kick of the footy in Central Park. Quite simply, we were as toey as a roman sandal for a few failed torpedoes, and a few mongrel, finger-breaking, GDFL-reserves-special mongrel punts. Barrel had had a bit of empty space in his luggage coming over from Perth, thus a T.W. Sherrin, in good solid nick too, made the trip (surely "T.W. Sherrin" would be eligible for a Frequent Flyers card?)

We were quite out of luck today, as although we only walked halfway up Central Park from the south east corner, we were unable to find any great place to have a kick. The reason was that all of the decent lawns had been closed to prevent winter damage. We finally found a wet, choppy place to have a kick. Only one hour later were we getting tired of it.

But it would be remiss of me not to describe Central Park. Whoever made the decision to retain such a huge area of land in clearly one of the most sought-after locations in the world was a great visionary. This park just has everything – sports fields, lakes, restaurants, running tracks, a zoo, music / theatre bowls, and plenty of spaces where you can be completely oblivious to the fact that you’re in the biggest city in the world. In hindsight, this place has to be allocated a day to be truly explored – hopefully myself & Libe can find a place in our tight US schedule to have such a day.

Central Park. Possibly the world's second greatest park... obviously Kardinia Park comes first. Certainly better than Brian Park though (for the unedumacated, a Victorian country jockey)).

Central Park. "The Lake". The contrast between the serenity of Central Park ("How's the Serenity" - Darryl John Kerrigan) and the hustle and bustle of the Upper West Side of Manhattan can clearly be seen here.

Central Park - The Lake. Frozen over - although the white line on the top of the water towards the top of this picture represents where the ice cover finishes. Although contemplated by Lawson & Carey for a while, none of us were game enough to try to determine how thick the ice was.

Central Park, heading off the main roads. Libe bolting ahead. The scene of many movies, including Lawson's favorite Home Alone #2.

The baseball fields of Central Park. For Seinfeld buffs, these do feature in a couple of episodes.

Central Park - Belvedere Castle.

Having a kick of the Tommy in Central Park with Barrel and Lawson.

Just outside the south west gates to Central Park. As soon as you get outside, you're back in the city.

Barrel takes a typically strong mark in front of Lawson

Turns on a sixpence to drive one long on the left

The trip begins

Trying to break the fall...

Down like a sack of spuds.

Camera - Libe Melville
Laughter / wet pants - Kristian Lawson

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The Eisner 'sweatshop'. Where a large group of the secondees are situated.

The Eisner reception. Quite a lot of things I've seen and heard about this firm make me think that the partners might still have their first dollar, and the interior design of the office, the hours they want the secondees to work (specifically Libe) and the maintenance of Libe's apartment might be the 3 most obvious suggestions.
Worth noting the name of the receptionist. This is what happens when you put in and ordinary performance live across the country on a Footy Show Grand Final episode.

The girls on a Saturday night out in NY... Connie (who is a dead ringer for Stephanie Ashworth from Something For Kate), Sophie from the UK, Libe, and Monique. Connie and Monique both from South Africa.

Barrel reckons he doesn't like photos being taken of him, but the amount of different faces he can pull contradicts that thought I reckon. Here is another one... perhaps he was about to take a speccie (a spectacular Aussie Rules mark for the unedumacated) a la Peter Connell at the Yarrawonga Golf Club 2005.
The new face in this photo (on the left) is Katrina, who - correct me if I'm wrong with a comment - but works at Eisner and is dating a bloke from Eisner, but both are in denial. An interoffice relationship... fancy that! Disgraceful...

Baz.. refer to the previous photo mate.
That's another Bud Light in his hand. The American beers are very easy to drink compared to the Australian beers, hence Barrel has been converted and is in the process of doubling Budweiser Brewery's share price. I'm sticking with Stella Artois where possible, as its more like an Aussie beer and is readily found at most bars.

Dave from Eisner (who is dating Katrina - again, correct me if I'm wrong), and Kristaan from South Africa (who is a dead ringer for David Fennell from PP Melbourne), with Libe Melville (who is a dead ringer for Libe Melville, also from PP Melbourne).
Dave and Katrina are in denial. Rule 1 of interoffice relationships... Don't deny it, it's no use!

The Eisner front desk. Not as glamourous as the PP reception, but there's been quite a few indications that a lot of the Eisner Partners might still have their first dollar. Notice the name of the receptionist... that's what happens when you put in a disappointing show on the Grand Final Footy Show.

Friday 26 January - Australia Day

5pm - Boston's Logan International Airport

Never before has an Australia Day carried as much excitement as this one in the US. I’ve brought over from Oz my Australian International Rules jumper, pretty much especially for the occasion. However, I’m sitting here in Boston’s Logan International Airport, again frustrated by the inability for domestic airlines to provide a smooth flight. Today I booked a flight from Boston to New York’s JFK for 4pm, with a scheduled arrival in NY of 5:30pm. The plan was to arrive at the Australian themed 8 Mile Creek hotel in Manhattan by 7:30pm, when the other Aussie secondees had indicated they’d head down there. Sure enough – flight delayed to 6pm. This time the culprit was Delta Airlines. So I’ve switched flights to a La Guardia-bound flight, leaving 5:30pm (my original planned NY arrival time). In a statement that’s apt for the day – because its Australia day – I currently feel that the US airlines couldn’t organise a root in a brothel here.

Many Beers Later - New York

All “Australians” – I put that word in quotation marks as it involved those who really were Australians, as well as those who went along for ride in the hope that they somehow could be recognised as Australians – Brits, South Africans, Collingwood supporters – met up at 8 mile creek, an underground bar marketing itself as an Australian pub. It’s good to get a taste of home in NYC, but they do miss the boat on a couple of things, including:

• Australia day should mean nothing but Australian music. Unfortunately they failed dismally tonight after a promising start.
• More cubicles, including an old fashioned pee-trough for the men, instead of the single cubicle each for the blokes and the sheilas. A tree for the men wouldv'e sufficed!

However, we were able to lay our hands on what I think might be the best Australian beer – a James Boags Premium stubbie - and they were showing a replay of the cricket (the Australia Day one-dayer between our men and the Poms from Adelaide), so we were very appreciative of that.

The NY secondees – including the ring-ins – had all gone to the trouble of making their own t-shirts, complete with legendary Aussie icons and images such as Alf from Home and Away, Harold from Neighbours, Rodney Rude, David Boon with the number 52 (the infamous flight to London), Kath & Kim. I spoiled the party a little with my International Rules Jumper (stood out like dogs balls in this group), however since I’d brought if over largely for the occasion, was obliged to wear it.

3 votes definitely to "Wayne" Carey, who must surely have been the best thing for this bar’s profits. Myself & Libe left him and a lot of the crew about 1. I doubt Barrel had led his last “Aussie Aussie Aussie” for the night, despite the fact that his voice had left had left the 8 Mile Creek hotel before I'd arrived (the unfortunate consequence of back-to-back sessions for the King).

One Aussie and 3 wannabes... from left to right, Sophie from London, Johan from South Africa (otherwise known as a "Safa", Josh the Aussie (even if he does support Carlton), and Jean the "Safa". Jean is wearing the scars and stitches of a drunken stumble the night before, and certainly earns points & respect for drinking on Oz Day despite concussion being a possibility. Note the presence of James Boags Premium and Coopers Pale Ale Stubbies, and the custom designed Australia day shirts on all in the shot.

George, Rebecca & Libe

Libe, Simone & Sarah (Josh's better half)

Tim, yours truly and Barrel. Barrel appears to be contemplating whether to launch into another 'Aussie Aussie Aussie'. It has nearly been exactly a month on the clock since I'd last met a Collingwood supporter. Unfortunately I met Tim and his girlfriend this night, both keen Pies supporters, who had to ruin it for me. At least they were good people to have a 'chin wag' with.

Barrel being patriotic. No truth to the rumour that he landed in the US with these boxers on and hasn't changed yet.

We can all be a little immature from time to time. At least my head could fit in this... there are many people whose scone might not.

Out of the million photos I've taken, Sophie might be in a thousand of them, and 998 were taken this night by Libe. I took this one, and we've caught Sophie with her 999th different face.

Baz reckons no matter how much he drunk this night he couldn't get drunk (must admit I felt the same), and this might provide corroborating evidence - given this photo would've been taken between 3 and 4 and Luke actually looks quite uninebriated.

And finally... a photo of Ryan & Libe together.

Two happy little Vegemites... as bright, as bright can be.
(That reminds me. Mum - can you please send some Vegemite over).

Thursday 25 January - Boston

I’ve actually done the un-secondee thing this week and worked – at a client one hours drive north of Boston, in Hampton, New Hampshire (different state). Quite a shock to the system. Chargeable hours has rocketed from 1 to 33 in the blinking of an eye. It has been snowing up here on Monday and Tuesday. Once again, the coldest day of the week will have been Friday, when the skies are clear and there’s no snow. By Thursday night, I’ve developed quite a strong cold, so much so that I ventured to Kitty O’Shea’s in our building tonight for a feed with Becky but stayed away from any alcohol.

Sunday 21 January - Washington DC to Boston

Today marked a landmark day for Ryan Moore – the first time I’d seen snow actually fall. I’d seen in on the ground in Boston on New Years Eve, but had never seen it come from above. It wasn’t overly cold today – certainly it was colder on Saturday – but that seems to be the case when snow falls. For there to be snow, there needs to be cloud cover. The real cold days that we’ve experienced have all been days without a cloud in the sky, so I’m quite happy for it to be snowing most of the winter. As it has been put already, the Australian contingent were like kids in a toy store, or like Michael Jackson in a kindergarden – quite excited. Outside the National Air & Space Museum, kids waiting for a bus were putting together snowballs and having snowfights. The biggest kid or all, Libe Melville, joined in and hurled one or two at me too.

Myself & Libe didn’t do a lot of sightseeing today – after a late-ish wakeup, we took in the National Museums of Air & Space, and the American Indian (although the latter was done only briefly, due to flight schedules for myself and Becky).

Highlights of the Air & Space Museum:

• The Apollo 13 modules, which confirmed my suspicions that the crew members weren’t claustrophobic, because it was tiny.
• The World War exhibits – I’m happy to declare myself as fascinated by the war stories, particularly WWII
• The nearby American History museum is currently closed for renovations, however it had a temporary exhibit in the Air & Space Museum. This had the Seinfeld Puffy Shirt and Jackie Kennedy signature white dress (although I swear it must be Zan Melville’s older sister in the photo), amongst other things.

As has come to be expected now, the trip home was full of fun and games, best described by the following itinerary:

• 3pm – Left Museum to head to hotel via subway, pack up and walk to Rebecca & Becky’s hotel (The Quincy) to jump on shuttle
• 4pm – Left the Quincy
• 4:10pm – Drop Libe & Carly off at the Bus Terminal
• 4:50pm – Expected arrival at Dulles International Airport based on normal activities
• 5:30pm – Actual arrival at Dulles International Airport, due to heavy snowfalls on the roads out, and a ridiculous number of earlier accidents, that had been cleared since but still were causing delays. Immediately find out flight had been rescheduled to 7pm
• 6:30pm – Scheduled departure time
• 7:00pm – Rescheduled departure time
• 9:30pm – Boarded, followed soon by ‘de-icing’ of the plane (which involves a truck outside being used to spray something over it)
• 10:25pm – Plane leaves gate
• 10:38pm – Off the ground
• 11:45pm – Arrive Boston
• 1:20pm - Bed
• Never – Advised of delay, any reschedulings, reasons for delay, apologies from the airline, advised of the fact that our plane was boarding. That is the most disappointing part. Communication has been ordinary from these airlines to say the least, but it appears as though all of them do it so the public just expect it. There’s no doubt Australia’s airlines are just as good.
• Never – checked for ID! The luggage security checks were typically thorough at Dulles – but anyone could have walked onto that plane anyway.

At least they had live cable on the plane again, so we were able to continue viewing the AFC Championship game between the New England Patriots and the Indianapolis Colts, after we saw 3/4’s of it in the terminal. Although there was disappointment on the plane when the signal had to be turned off for the inflight crew to perform the usual safety demonstrations, while a crucial 4th quarter play was in process (which resulted in a NE touchdown). The eventual winner was – Pete McCormick’s wallet (thanks to the Colts)

Libe at the magnificent Smithsonian Castle on the National Mall, no doubt contemplating whether MFIT can perform well enough for her not to sacrifice her accumulation of shoes in order to purchase a place like this. I'm just thinking of having a decent crack at the next Quaddie Jackpot instead.

The Seinfeld Puffy Shirt, part of the Top 100 American Icons exhibit at the National Air & Space Museum. "But I don't want to be a pirate!"

The command module used by the crew of Apollo 11 to return to earth. Three men were inside this to return to earth - remind me not to complain when I'm put on a small plane for any flights. But then again, I did live in the 'coffin' which was my old bedroom at 36 Girton for quite a long time, so perhaps these guys can't complain...

National Mall, Sunday 21 January, on the steps of the National Air & Space Museum having just walked outside. When we'd been in transit to the Museum not a snowflake had fallen, however this is what greeted us upon our exit. The first time I'd seen snow! Perhaps the first thing that comes to mind is that snow really isn't an uncomfortable as rain. We both felt like we could walk around in it forever.

We're cold, a little tired, but as happy as Larry. In the National Mall, with the Capitol very faintly in the background, and the snow blanketing the paths.
(Who was Larry? Why was he so happy? I've heard of the phrase "happy as pig in poo" - perhaps the pig was named Larry?)

Looking back down the National Mall on a snowy Sunday in Washington. The Washingto Memorial is only very faint through all the snow.

On the highway to Dulles, approximately 4:30pm in the arvo. Although snow was great to see, it was to play havoc with our night.

Saturday 20 January - Washington DC

Not sure all of the sightseeing team were all that happy with me this morning, calling an 8am start. However, I’m sure in the future everyone will forget about the early start, and instead remember all the good things we were able to see, which was a higher number as a result of starting early anyway...

The sightseeing team consisted of myself, Libe, Rebecca, Becky, George and Carly.

First stop – George W’s place. Our tour was limited to a few photos opportunities in various places along the fence and a walk around the outside perimeter. The house certainly is in the middle of the city – this is supported by the fact that George W’s neighbour is a bloke named Treasury; first initials U.S.. Not much privacy George W if he wants to put a keg on in his backyard. Can’t fault the place all the same. Have just looked on Domain.com but doesn’t appear as though there’s any room to rent....

The White House is immediately north of the National Mall. This is a long park strip, ending at the west end with the Lincoln Memorial and at the other by The Capitol (the US parliament or ‘Congress’). Between these two buildings are the Reflection Pool, the World War II memorial, and the Washington Monument; flanking the Mall to its north and South sides are numerous museums, the US Botanic Garden, the White House, embassies, other memorials etc.. It really is a terrific setup. For a sightseer, it means that most of what needs to be seen (as opposed to what ‘should’ be seen) is situated somewhere on or close to this Mall.

The Washington Monument is a giant erection (built by the good people at Viagra Inc.) built to honour George Washington. More correctly, it is an ellipse.

Across the road is the World War II Memorial – best described by the pictures below. Engraved on the surrounding walls were numerous famous quotes about the Great War.

On the other side of the WWII Memorial is the Reflection Pool. On a clear day, and when the lake is full, you are able to stand on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial and clearly see the reflection of the Washington Monument in the pool, hence the title. Unfortunately the Pool had been drained, and contained only waste water, so it didn’t appear as great as it generally would.

The Pool is perhaps most famous for the scene in Forrest Gump, when Forrest (or was it Michael O’Brien aka Poose?) stands in front of the Vietnam War protest gathering and is interrupted by Jenny running through the Pond. Fair to say there was a couple of calls of “Jenny!” in the Forrest Gump twang made.

The conditions at this stage of the morning were quite uncomfortable. The freezing westerly wind was blowing into our faces and really burning the skin. The hands were also painfully frozen, despite being covered with leather gloves.

The Lincoln Memorial – the steps on which Forrest stood in front of in the aforementioned scene – was the final leg of this part of the National Mall. The Memorial is really well maintained, with near faultness marble floors and of course, the perfectly sculptured statue of Abraham Lincoln. Again I thought of something on film – this one being Lisa Simpson’s trip to the memorial during the Simpsons episode where Lisa takes part in the patriotic essay writing comp in DC. On either side of the memorial, engraved into the wall, are his famous Gettysburg address and his famous 2nd inaugural address. The photos below carry the best description of the monument altogether.

The Korean War memorial is adjacent to the Lincoln Memorial and was another quick stop before heading to the Arlington Memorial Cemetery, the final resting place of US military personnel and US presidents. Between the two runs the Arlington River, separating the District of Columbia, or DC (which houses Washington DC, much like the ACT with Canberra, although Washington is the only thing in DC), and the state of Virginia, so by walking over the Arlington Memorial Bridge we actually went interstate.

The bridge was amazing painful with the freezing breeze.

Among the highlights in the Arlington Memorial Cemetery were:

• The resting places of the Kennedy family, including JFK, and Jackie O (who is a dead ringer for Libe’s sister Zan)
• Rows and rows of gravestones of US war veterans
• Top views of Washington city over the river
• Many amusing gravesites (refer pictures below)

Lunch was at EPSN Zone after a quick subway ride back into the city. At the very least, this place proved once again how big the US meals are. Even more interesting was the TV in the men’s cubicle, so one could (pardon the pun) watch some crap sports while having a number two.

To work off lunch (which was taken close to tea time than lunch time) we went for a stroll through the cold to the Capitol, the home of the US Congress, where the most important US decisions (an inevitably decisions made for Australia as well) are made. Unfortunately, like a lot of attractions in this city, it’s hard to get a gig to see this place, so we were resigned to a few photos out the front. To defrost, a nearby trip to the US Botanic Gardens, a near completely indoor facility, was in store, so we spent an hour or so browsing through there. It’s funny how a place like this can have so many exhibits providing a strong case for global warming possibly being a critical issue, yet less than a kilometre away the key decision makers are so slow to consider such an issue as important.

Beers and a feed tonight were held in the pub next door to Rebecca & Becky’s apartment, where a couple of the guys let their hair down solidly. Unfortunately I watched again as the Celtics lost a close one (this one in overtime); their record in tight games so far is unbelievably poor.

How often can you go overseas and say you know someone who lives in this particular city, and where they live? Unfortunately my mate George didn’t return my calls and we were forced to book a hotel room instead. I suppose I’ll have to wait for another time to catch up with him and to compare my plans for my personal world domination with his(unless, of course, Punter & the Aussie cricket team achieve that before both of us).
By the way – this is the back of the White House. Where’s the Hills Hoist, and the tin shed whose door has seen better days and thus must be pushed up just to lock the bloody thing?
All of us had a rash on the inside of our thighs by the end of the day. This day was absolutely freezing, so cold that such rashes developed simply by our pants rubbing on the cold skin in this area

The front. Not much privacy for George W. Not a bad place though. Only Uncle Wayne might have the cash to afford something like this... but he’ll just opt for a new model falcon instead.

The Washington Monument, built to honour the memory of George Washington, and a centrepiece of the National Mall.
In words never said by the Virgin Mary: "That is one big erection".
(can those who are practising catholics please excuse the blasphemy)

The National Mall area, with the Washington Monument out of picture to the right. In the foreground are a large number of ducks who have forgotten to fly south for the winter - the most number of ducks I’d seen since I last saw an English Cricket Team’s batting scorecard. And I bet ya the Poms wish they'd forgotten to fly south too.

Looking over the very famous area containing the WWII Memorial in the foreground, the Lincoln Memorial in the background, and the reflection pool in between. Directly behind the camera was the Washington Memorial.

The US WWII Memorial – a very solemn dedication to the second of the great Wars.
I asked one of the other Australian secondees if we had our own dedication to the second of the great Wars. They just said, "nah, Mark hasn't been retired long enough to get a statue like Steve Waugh has out at Bankstown CC". I think they might have misunderstood me.

This is the reflection pool, perhaps best known for the scene in Forrest Gump where Jenny comes running though the pool to meet Forrest, who is being presented on stage at the Vietnam War protest (remarkably well acted by Michael O'Brien aka Poose). It was also the scene of Martin Luther King's "I have a dream" speech.

Unfortunately, the reflection reminds me more of how I look when I wake up from a massive session on the sauce with a cracking hangover, rather than a crystal clear reflection of the Lincoln Memorial.

The Lincoln Memorial and its famous statue. The entire Memorial was just in pristine condition, a true reflection of the mark of respect given to this place by those who visit it. The words above his head read:
"IN THIS TEMPLE
AS IN THE HEARTS OF THE PEOPLE
FOR WHOM HE SAVED THE UNION
THE MEMORY OF ABRAHAM LINCOLN
IS ENSHRINED FOREVER"

From the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, looking back over the Reflection Pool, to the WWII Memorial, and even further to the Washington Monument. These are the aforementioned steps made famous by Forrest Gump, and more importantly, Martin Luther King.

Statues at the Korean War Memorial. The closest statue has a tranny in his hand (clarification: that's transistor radio, not transvestite). Unfortunately he didn't respond when I asked him if he could pick up Sport 927 for the second leg of the Melbourne quaddie. I guess he must have got knocked out of the first leg.

The Lincoln Memorial, from the Korean War Memorial. This is the only picture I took reasonably close up to the memorial: nothing from directly in front. Probably because the walk up to the Memorial beside the Reflection Pool was so painful with the brutally cold headfirst winds, and there was just no thoughts of stopping.

On the brutally open-to-the-elements Arlington Bridge, walking over to the Arlington Memorial Cemetary, and in the process actually crossing the state borders. If only it was this easy to cross between Victoria and Tasmania, we'd have a lot more two-headed people.

Arlington Memorial Cemetary - The Kennedy Family's gravesites. From left to right - "Patrick Bouvier Kennedy 1963", "John Fitzgerald Kennedy 1917-1963", "Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis 1929 - 1994", "Daughter 1956".

JFK's grave. His life story is fascinating - well worth a read on Wikipedia.